really don’t know how i feel about all the GIANT MOTHERFUCKING RED TOADSTOOL MUSHROOMS that popped up basically overnight in the front yard. people are taking photos of them. children are getting scolded for trying to eat them. upon further inspection of other yards on the street, only our front yard seems to have them and i watch a lot of x-files lately so i know what i’m doing(investigation-wise). so we’re basically smurfs or trolls or something i guess. THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM. are we not gnomes?

next to the patch pictured is a medium sized whoopee cushion for scale. they are basically giant cartoon mushrooms i thought were fake until i poked one and it was moist to the touch and jiggled in the most unsettling way.